If I knew what I was doing, do you think I’d be doing this?

If I knew what I was doing, do you think I’d be doing this?

It’s not rhetorical. If I knew what I was doing

I wouldn’t be asking. It’s a good question

for folks who have more questions than confidence

be still or be strong

or

be still and be strong

you pick

I catch the light and I feel it

it stops there

sure I occasionally share it

but that’s often incidental

meet me three years ago

please

I’m glad you remember

it helps me remember

in the streets (walking)

it’s so different 

it’s a world different

I’ve exiled myself

I don’t know from who or what or why

but sometimes it feels good

I wash my hands of it

it’s all dependent of the angle

and the angle is always changing

I think we could all (mostly) agree

it would help if I rhymed some

it’s not that I’m numb, I’m just not free

are any of us? - and from whom? -

[from ourselves, of course]

the lying tomb we cannot divorce 

PAUSE    I am a ghetto

ME: starring me - leaking. stinky. silly vapors

sleeping on my own crumbled newspaper manifesto-less manifestos

it happens every day

I forgot my lipstick!

I sometimes incorporate lipstick!

just because it’s a positive word to say

in those songs you wrote

it doesn’t matter what you think

just what you feel

stars. sequins. kangaroos. [lipstick.]

Those songs you wrote

I can feel myself inside of them. It feels like where I want to be. The spirits might contribute. But you always walk me back to my hotel. Why? I stare until I realize that I’m staring, and then - when the time comes - I can’t look at you. Even though it [I] still feel good. I cease to know the feeling unless I’m feeling the feeling, and then I remember the feeling as I’m feeling it, therefor: I’m doubly feeling the feeling. Again: it could be the spirits; but it’s definitely not just the spirits. It’s the spirits that connect us. Even when I’m not me. That transcendental feeling. Identification required.