a few (2)

why can't I remember
things which I thought
your birthday in September
it makes me distraught
how we even met
I haven't a clue
where is my head
when it's not on the screw
why can't I remember
what I simply ought to

(this color, because I'm not sure about it, and I'm not sure about this one. but italics, because I like it more than the last one.)

a few (1)

all of these years
all of my fears -
you can take them
you can have them
but they aren't much
anymore
memories don't bleed
they don't feed
memories i don't need
memories recede

(gray because I don't like it, and I don't like gray right now.)

Forever Sunshine

summer
or late spring, at least
perpetual ease
ice, sand, and sweat
cooled by a breeze
freedom: immense
laughter
life
fifty cents
forever sunshine
it cannot fade
when i think -
lemonade

Knoxville -
a silly girl
obsessed with her beauty
a rich man
who never has worked.

excerpt from "The Unnamed"

by Joshua Ferris

"The other [his body] had gone completely quiet. No more complaints of hunger or the cold. He had no memory of the last time it had managed to keep anything down. He was winning. He had never given much thought to heaven before, but now he was certain it existed. Without God, the body won, and that couldn't be possible. He was one thing, his body a different thing altogether, and he was willing a separation, in which he went off to eternal repair while it suffered its due fate of rough handling, dirt, and rot."

the world is changing

a few thoughts that quickly formed into a hoard of thoughts, none which are worth much.

the world is changing
less birdwatching, or less who admit it
less interest in the stars
we know what is up there now
and they are not here
and here is all that matters
fast food is not fast anymore
nor cheap
nor does it identify itself as fast food
though we all blindly know what it is
less people smile today
probably because in our world
we are all happy, always
so why smile for a single moment?
likely connected to our talking
we talk so much more
but communicate so much less
a trait we learned from machines
never spend your time
like you spend your money
we are spending our time
like we are spending our money
do we actually have money?
real, physical money?
we don't seem to have time
our sunglasses aren't as futuristic
as they use to be
our television
is so much more "real"
than it use to be
if it were not,
what else would be?
our mountains continue to wear
but we are building more
with our excess gods
the atmosphere
probably does not exist anymore
soon to follow -
smiling, conversation,
and general human interaction
we're in the 2,000's
and our cars still do not fly
and we still sometimes cry
we're in the 2,000's
and we are still not perfect
the world is changing
though not as fast as we thought it would
the world is changing
at its prevailing pace

meh

a bump on the back of my arm
bigger than a pimple, smaller than a lump
has no hair, causes no harm
not noticeable, not worth a care
but I do. I wish it was not there.

a mother. sweet and sincere
two sons, one could have been done
a bump on his head, or in it in fact
it would still be there - if our technology lacked
he's still here, he wished it was never there

hundreds of years ago, fever, and a telltale sneeze
a trickle of blood, cities, down to their knees
invisible killer, millions to their graves
no war to be fought. life could not be bought.
a twitch of the nose, wished never was there

a serpant, it's told, once spoke to a girl
no bumps or lumps, maybe not even a sneeze
no cancer for sure, yet still we were lured
in a perfect world, must we still want more?
it seems, likely, we would even say please.



perfection, we desire
we desire it so
yet we don't let ourselves know
we don't let ourselves go
one step at a time
one failure per step
though we don't know
we don't let ourselves know
few truly wish for perfection
fewer for flaws

time vs batteries

time heals all wounds
but it kills batteries
new wounds heal the old ones
time just gives cavities
time heals all wounds
tell that to your batteries

to be whole

take the poison, no not out of my veins
I'll be okay, if it remains
take the venom, not off of my tongue
it has been there, since before I was young
look past the malice, that shines in my eyes
this neither, is the burden of my cries
leave the hatred, that boils even in my finger tips
just a little love, can easily overcome this
pass over the pride, that starts at my toes and reaches my skull
it is there, I know, therefore I try to drive it dull
forget the greed that tightens my jaw
ignore the mind that aids me to easily fall
my soul, though...it is my soul - as you well know
these subsidiary stains would suffocate, if this cancer were cut from my soul
it has been there forever, and never have I ever felt whole.

to be

to be a-lone - by - my - self
time I enjoy - by - my - self
to dream I think - and think I dream
to be a dream - of some one else
to be a dream - a - dream - it - self
can't be a spring - without a summer
can't be a spring - without a winter
can't learn to fail - without a fall
to dream to fall - we don't often do
from a fall - we learn what we do
the sun - and - the moon
at the same time - at the right time
we know where they're going - we know where they've been
we know where they're going - not like it use to be
the world is round now - not like it use to be
just fine the way it is - as it was the way it was
it is fine to be - they way you are
to be better - is always near or always far
it is or it's not - as simple as push or pull
get a smaller glass
and it won't be half empty - or half full
I want to - I - really - do
no - not whatever you want me to do
I want you to do - whatever you want to do
and for you to be happy - with whatever I want to do
and then I will do - whatever you want me to do
it is not about me - it's about you
for me - but for you - no not about you
for me but for you - no not about you
but it is - you see?
don't you see - don't you see?
I do hope - that you see
and then you can be - whatever you will be
and see not - what you want to see
but see - what you see
the world is not flat - and a fall is not a fall
if the glass in your head - fits the draw